Mindfulness practice allows me to accept that I can and do get caught up in my desires, my aversions, my imagined needs ... on good days, I catch myself. On others, I can drown in my own depth. I can't get out of my own way. I lose sight of reality. I want everything to happen NOW. Stephen Cope talks about witnessing in his classes, and in The Wisdom of Yoga: A Seeker's Guide to Extraordinary Living, he says, on page 25,
One of the first things the beginning meditator gets to see, then, is precisely what her mind is occupied with - what, presumably, her mind is doing day in and day out when she's not paying attention.I'm not a beginning meditator, and I have moved from a place of sitting and squirming mindlessly to "aha" moments when I get it. Now I don't space out, it doesn't take me long to drop in, I am able to observe my thoughts. That doesn't mean I always like them! Later in the same book (page 126), Cope quotes Patanjali and he also says:
In the view of yoga, the only Real Self is the Witness - the mind that sees and knows it all without judgment. The eternal Seer that does not choose for or against any part... The Witness is clear-seeing, nonreactive, and free of pattern.Well, I'd love to say that after 26 years of practice I've got it down, but I don't. I will practice kindness toward myself and admit that I am in a far better place than I was in 1986 and even last year. Thank goodness, this is why it is called practice. If I continue to do something everyday I will continue to get better at recognizing when my mind is dragging me through the mud.
Knowing it all without judgment, yep, I want more of that. Ooops! Good save.